Life and more

Souvenirs from Cebu

2009-09-09T02:13:00.011+08:00

These are things I found in Cebu City during my 3 day visit there last summer. There were so many things to look at. Good I was able to capture them. The place to be when it comes to buying souvenir items would be the one inside the compound of Lapu-Lapu monument. There, you can find anything from seashells, guitars, wallets, beaded bracelets, banig bags, and shirts with Cebu logos. Here, take a look..

It's really wonderful how such exquisite products are created out of seashells.

Don't you worry guys, these are not real. No frogs were killed in the process.They are just purely imitated objects made out of leather.

These are all thumb sized key chains that are sold for at least P10 each.

Here, I found these native bags inside Mactan airport. As much as I wanted to buy one, the price was higher than I expected. So I just took one snapshot of it to make my day.

summer leaves

2009-09-09T00:49:00.006+08:00

Here are some of the photos I had taken during my island hopping in Cebu this summer. As I was standing under a tree nearby the seashore, I happened to look up and there I saw how vibrant and colorful those leaves were. Later did I realized the leaves had already been dried up. Nevertheless, so elegantly vibrant and beautiful especially when rays of sunlight hit them. I thought the light reflected by the water added colors and life to the leaves. I am so fond of these pictures because these remind me that there is always something good to look forward to...Everything begins and ends well...just like a fallen leaves...

secret garden

2009-09-07T11:19:00.003+08:00

Last summer of 2008, my sister and I went to Tagaytay to visit Caleruega Church. That was the second time I saw that place. But the experience was quite different than the first time. I never had a chance to see the beauty of the place the first time I went there. We were having a retreat then with my college classmates, no time to roam around the vicinity. But now, I was able to capture the beauty of the place. Here are some of the beautiful things that made the place so special.

Bad hair day and all

2009-07-04T12:20:00.004+08:00

I never thought that cutting your hair short was really liberating. I used to have long hair all my life. I have always been afraid to try something new. Indeed, I'm not a risk-taker. But sometimes, we do unexpected things out of sudden burnout or feelings we can no longer suppress. And what's nice about it is that, it actually feels good.

2008-12-28T23:10:00.007+08:00

I was disturbed by what I saw an hour ago on the television. It was a special documentary by Anderson Cooper of CNN about the on-going situation in Congo. What I had witnessed was something I could not even imagine. You know the feeling when you watch a horror movie and you just keep thinking and thinking about it that you can't even sleep at night? What I saw was way more terrifying than that. So I'm writing about it to let it out.

In the Democratic Republic of Congo, civil war is happening. And women has become the victims of this dark battle that has taken place. Well, I have heard a lot of problems happening in Africa such as poverty, lack of education facility, poor water, and AIDS...but I have never really taken some time to understand how and why this is happening until now.

Looking back, I realized this is not something new. Way back in Philippine history, many Filipino women served as sexual slaves for the Japanese soldiers during World War II. They were called the 'comfort women'. Growing up, I read a lot about them. Many women suffered so much and they were in deep pain. And I thought power often dictates cruelty. And at my young age, I convinced myself this too shall pass. Time changes people. We have a better understanding about peace and equality. We can always choose a better leader in our society. Our social consciousness has evolved. But now, it is happening again. Hundreds of women in Congo are being raped everyday,and being witnessed by the community, literally! Even young girls with ages 6 experience gang rape!

All these are happening because of civil war. I realized now, when power is at stake, women always become a commodity. During world war II, comfort women became a symbol of power and authority established by the Japanese. And now, in Congo, they use women as a weapon of war. I dare say that this is not because those evil soldiers of war steal women and act on their sexual perversion, but merely to let the society know that they have the power and authority. They don't even go to a private place to do that. Instead, they let the husbands, family to witness their cruelty.They chose to impose their authority by spreading terrorism. They believe breaking the morality of women is the best way to show that they are the leader of the community.

We all hear a lot about the war in Iraq and Afghanistan, but the war that's happening in Africa is much older.,and way deeper. Before, I only knew that African countries held the most inflicted with HIV/AIDS. I thought of poverty and prostitution as the reasons. Well, actually, it is the wounded society that caused the disease.

What what what?

2008-12-15T00:30:00.003+08:00

I have been thinking about quitting my job. Everyday I do. The moment I sit on my workplace, and turn on the computer, I have this feeling of anxiety. I don't like the idea that my boss is actually 5 feet away from my desk...and everyday, she would remind me--ah sorry, she would tell me what to do first, then next, and so on. She knows everything I do 'coz she actually sees what I do and not to do. She never lets us be. There comes a point where I feel like I can't do this anymore. It's not healthy. I want to quit and find a new job but I just don't know why I am still here. Oh gosh, what shall I do now?

take it away

2008-05-04T22:36:00.002+08:00

I'm confused. And for what? For something so simple yet complicated.

Well, I guess I need to find something to laugh about.

not over yet

2007-09-29T20:54:00.001+08:00

Someone said you have to experience pain to experience life. And I was thinking...is it always like that? What if the thing that causes your pain is actually the same thing that lets you experience life.

I thought my heart just stopped when she died. I honestly thought that was the beginning of the end.

And I'm glad I was able to keep things together...atleast I hope so. Still, whenever I get happy, at the back of my mind, I feel it's not right. Maybe, I'm still stuck there. Maybe, after all I'm not over with all that. People just see the surface, beneath that, they are absolutely clueless.

Fun Fun Fun

2007-09-12T01:05:00.002+08:00

At TimeZone Greenbelt. Then we had dinner after bumming around. Good to see people you used to hang-out with...: )

2007-07-10T00:17:00.000+08:00

Here I am with my little sister and my adorable niece...it was taken just last summer. I couldn't make her focus on the camera that's why Ashley ended up drinking there. Harhar!

Right--> took place at the beach. She was so cute I couldn't help taking one shot w/her.

Guess I'm stupid

2007-06-11T17:18:00.000+08:00

Have you experienced thinking 'bout something that all the rest you supposed to do for that moment have slipped away from your unconscious mind????

I took a jeep for a ride, and paid a 100 bill...and guess what! I din't take the change. How stupid can I be.

wide open

2007-03-07T00:48:00.000+08:00

Can't sleep...as much as i want to...just can't sleep. ..haay...

I used to think death is the end

2007-01-07T01:44:00.000+08:00

I used to think death is the end. And life consist of only beginning and end. Deep down, we all think that way.

People don't give much thought about that until someone passes away. And that's when you realize how non-discriminatory and inevitable it is...and how mortal we are. Fear and emptiness is the aftermath. That's what we only know about death. However we deny it, we hate the idea.

For those who have lost someone, is it rightfully just to have someone as scapegoat? There is no means to comfort them, so let them have the moment. Because maybe, just maybe, that's the only way to feel better. People may not understand where you're coming from but for a one fleeting moment, you think it's the best way to go on...no matter how cruel it may seem.

How can you see hope in death?

No matter how you struggle to continue, memories creep in your mind and overpower your thoughts... Memories maybe old, yet they are powerful.

Only when you can accept death, you know how to live...

the darkest thought

2006-12-28T03:40:00.000+08:00

Losing a precious person becomes the saddest thing to imagine. And a lot of people have no idea how to deal with that. It's so ironic that most of the people in this earth have accepted the idea that there's a time for us to leave, that it's just a matter of time...and yet, they become crippled when dear ones left them behind.

For a moment, they feel like their soul has also been taken away by death...the truth is, what really kills your soul in not the death alone, but the memories...everyday, flashes of familiar face, voice you can't hear, and the presence you can never feel, keep stabbing your whole being until they reach the core of your heart and form a hollow there...hollow that can never be filled in.

People form a silly idea that the one that's left always there. But in the end, that thought just leaves you doubtful. A few says, that if someone believes there's life after death, then there's no reason to be sad about...but how can you possibly hold on to that?

Many would say, this too shall pass...it supposed to mean what?? Do they mean, pain? emptiness?? It is hurtfully appalling to hear someone say that. No matter how you see things in a different perspective, at the end of the day, it's all coming back. And what really sucks is that, there's no way for you to ignore it. It's just there. Pain and grief has overwhelmed your spirit.

People see you smile for a while. But can they really see you?

mood for the day

2006-12-24T16:50:00.000+08:00

I'm beginning to wonder,am i having a quarterlife crisis of some sort, or just burned-out?? (sigggh)...

Just the beginning

2006-11-19T16:06:00.000+08:00

1 month to go before the end of the year. I don't know what to expect but i'm hoping for some changes. Maybe a trip with my sisters to some place i've always wanted to go. Or buy something expensive for ate Lorie 'coz i've never done something special for her. Or maybe, quit my job and pursue something i've always wanted to do. Hmmm, what do i know...

Wonder

2006-11-19T15:00:00.000+08:00

This trip means a lot to me. It was a year after my mother left. The fear and anxiety I kept building in my chest has started to come out in the surface. It's really hard when you leave the past and just stop talking about it, even to yourself.

craving for something new

2006-11-18T00:23:00.001+08:00

For the past few weeks, I haven't eaten anything but Mc Do. Ugh, this is not healthy.

what's the cost of fame?

2006-10-30T00:47:00.000+08:00

Why should fame change us? We are just ordinary guys. I have toured all over the world with the band. But, I always want to come home to Dublin."

-- Bono, 2001

My favorite Band

2006-10-29T13:51:00.000+08:00

My favorite Band

2006-10-29T13:44:00.000+08:00

I've got dreams to remember

2006-10-28T02:01:00.000+08:00

I'm so f***ing tired the whole day! I was late in the office. Again. My whole week was a total mess. And I couldn't get enough sleep...and I think my memory sucks! I was texting Tin yesterday and she was telling me the name of this person na classmate namin in high school. She gave me the name, well of course i remember the name, but I couldn't recall the face or how she looks like! I was trying to dig in my memory baka somehow maalala ko pero wala talaga! ...la lang, para kasing imposible na bigla na lang na-erase sa isip ko yung mga ganong bagay...Anyway, wala lang. Naisip ko lang siya bigla. I think rest lang katapat ko. I'm just tired.

The wind that brought my heart back

2006-10-24T23:15:00.000+08:00

It's over a year now since my mother has left (still I don't wanna used the term "passed away" 'coz it hurts)...still I don't feel like talking 'bout it in public or share the grief with my friends...it's not that I feel like they wouldn't listen or understand or even care...it's just that I don't wanna make it such a big deal for them or spoil the moments...it's just that I'm still angry inside. As much as I don't wanna feel bitter or something, but as i look back now, I think I am. She's the most loving person in the world and as much as the other half of my brain tells me I shouldn't be writing these, in my heart, it tells me otherwise. How could someone ignore the wonderful things that had left her broken...
...and I ended up forcing myself to grow up in a hurry...because most of the time I find myself needing her more than ever. And the whole thing controlled me somehow. I'm still struggling to be my old self. Sobra....

places i've come to fear the most

2006-09-27T22:36:00.000+08:00

"...giving up the hope that the past could have been any different." Oprah said that. I guess I can relate to that...So many things have been done and there's nothing more you can do to undo them. That's how it is. And I'm trying so so so hard to be the person I used to be. And I fear of going home 'coz I might not be able to deal with my own emotions. Memories, and things...I just hate to face the pain again...or has it gone?...I guess what i'm trying to say is that, I missed the life I once had with my mother....

Insomniac

2006-09-16T00:54:00.000+08:00

I can't sleep. I'm a zombie.

All up to me

2006-09-15T23:24:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired right now. I just finished watching Troy...i've watched it a dozen times but I just can't get over with Brad Pitt! Anyway, enough of him. I got so many things in mind right now.

I just had my birthday yesterday. And it was boring...what can I expect, I guess I'm just a boring person.

It's sad...moments like this makes me want to cry. I missed my mother...This is my first birthday that she's not calling me, telling me sweet thoughts. She's a sweet sweet angel. I learned so many things when she left. Before, I was a selfish person, always thinking about me, me, and me. It's a total different view now, I'm more concerned about my little sis than anything. I lost both of my parents. Now it's all up to me.